Who’s Your Daddy? C-Mid Android Tablet

Posted by Oliver | December 24, 2010  |  2 Comments

Who can forget the greatest sci-fi romance of all time; when Tasha Yar bared her midriff, hooked up a SuperMan curl and took Data where no android has gone before. But actions have consequences, and after a few trips to the liqour store I got to thinking. Say Tasha got prego – What would their kid be like? Well, not perfect (he is half space-ho) and born with some very conflicting attributes…which somehow brings us to today’s review!

WHAT’S IN THE DIAPER?
Today we’ll be reviewing the C-Mid Android Tablet, made for cheap on the mean streets of Shenzhen, this device poses a question. Can the sturdiness of Android’s operating system make up for this tablet’s circuitry shortcomings? Let’s check the specs, starting with the controversial 7″ touchscreen. Steve Jobs may hate the size, but there are advantages. Unlike the iPad, it’s actually portable. You can get around with this tablet in your front pocket for that functional dork look. The touchscreen is resisitve rather than capacitive, a common drawback on Chinese models. This means you can forget multi-touch, but unlike some of its crappier Shanzhai sidekicks, this touchscreen won’t make your digits bleed. Instead, the touchscreen responds well to minimal pressure, and doesn’t require the assistance of a stylus pen for any fine movements. It comes equipped with a track ball if you’re too lazy to touch the screen. If that appeals to you, set phaser to kill/aim at head because the track ball sucks Worf nuts. Other specs include an 800mhz ARM based ROCKCHIP 2818 processor, 256mb RAM, USB port, and HDMI port with 720p out. It comes with 4GB onboard memory, and can handle up to a 32GB TF card.

PARANOID ANDROID
Upon closer inspection, our tablet’s OS is actually Google Android Mobile. So our tablet thinks it’s a phone? That s*%$t is stupider than Wesley Crusher’s character arc! This means the screen resolution is limited, with 800×400 being this tablet’s max. There are also a few phone apps and settings you’ll do well to ignore, but there is an upside. Android Mobile is less hardware intensive than its larger cousin, meaning the C-Mid’s hardware can run it smoothly. Unless you’ve been assimilated by the iBorg, you’re probably well aware of how Android functions, Flash and all. If, however, you’ve sent your head on an odyssey up Steve Job’s ass where such information is not permitted…. Not to worry, you’ll get the hang of its easy interface in no time, but what’s this?! The C-Mid Tablet’s running Android 2.1, already out of date. And you can’t upgrade. Highly f*#&*ng illogical.

DECK OUT THE CRIB
This tablet doesn’t come with a lot of apps. You’ve got your barebones music player and ebook reader, as well as a web browser, Google Talk and a few others. The good news is you don’t need to go through and delete a lot of crap; just get online using the tablet’s Wi-Fi and grab the apps you need. While iPad users enjoy the Apple Apps Store for their software downloads, Android users can visit Android Market. While the selection is slimmer, it still boasts an impressive 100,000+ apps, including a lot of freebies.

TASHA YAR, IS NOT MY LOVER, SHE’S JUST A GIRL…
Nope, Data’s not impressed. While our daddy in denial scientifically disputes that paternity test, here’s a quick breakdown. You lookin’ to hit the net at Warp 8? Best beam that ass elsewhere. OK the hardware’s not much…but like momma Yar, the C-Mid Tablet is quick, easy and ready anywhere. If you’d like a functional tablet for some sporadic web browsing, this oughta polish your (photon) torpedo. The price tag’s a tribble less than two-hundred bucks, enough to entice even the tightest Ferengi…so don’t Klingon to your wallet son. Make it so!

For more on the subject of today’s review, click here!

*Note: Only 17 painful Star Trek references were made in this article.





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